Goku Fails
by Knot Applicable
Summary: Goku faces a new type of enemy. My attempt at a potentially great story. Taking it one piece at a time. Let me know please if you see something better I could do, and I will be sure to try it! Also - "Verbally Stated" and *Telepathically communicated*
1. Chapter 1

After resting at Earth, a few days after the battle with Majin Buu, Goku and company celebrate having a lifetime of hardship well fought. Life seemed to throw them an endless barage of nearly impossible conflicts; all of which Goku held the solution in a tensed, prepared fist that overthrew evil, taught people how to live morally, and gave them control in their own lives. It had been nearly an hour since Vegeta began to stand outside, and a little longer since Vegeta freaked out and was told by Goku to stand outside for about an hour. So, Goku, certain that Vegeta had had plenty of time to cool off, decided to check on his friend.

"KAKAROT! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED BUU YOURSELF! Why did you have to wait for the humans to trust you? I had faith in you, but looking back, you nearly caused the death of the universe THROUGH SHEER LAZINESS! A talent if i ever saw one..."

"H-Hey, Vegeta, it wasn't li-"

"I am fed up with your morals if they can't even guarantee your success! Let's see how well your 'happy-go-lucky' attitude works on that freak in the tux who's standing at our forest's edge!" The man standing their gave off a negative feel towards both Vegeta and Goku. They both knew nothing good would come from this visitor. But Vegeta wasn't immediately confrontational, instead he was relying on Goku to back him up if things went sour, a strange change in Vegeta that Goku welcomed. Goku's face turned from worry to challenge-induced excitement. He understood Vegeta's plan, a great one for reducing the threat of an unknown enemy. "I suppose that grin means you haven't even noticed until now, even though he's stood there for hours!" (Vegeta's 'Your an idiot!' card, possibly one of the most powerful in this universe).

Goku's laughs, "Alright, Vegeta, see what's up with him. Besides, I am curious to see how he talks if he doesn't have a mouth! ... Be careful..."

Up to this point, neither of them had given a direct eye towards this unknown person, to make it feel, if possible, that its presence is still unknown. They considered it possible that it might be a spy of sorts, and since neither could detect the slightest bit of a power level, they knew that this creature was likely very powerful, so they acted with such care. However, now that they were together, Goku being a little slow on the uptake, it was time to begin the confrontation.  
>As Vegeta looked directly at this new character, Goku was aware of a very slight wince in Vegeta's stance, and at that same instant, certainly to cover his hesitation (though to cover it from Goku or the man, he was not certain), he began to walk towards the man, shouting, "Would you like to join us, fo... fo..." gradually his walk turned into a slight limp, than a drone-like dragging. His original attempt was to act inviting and fearless, but as he saw the figure's head tilt during this moment that felt of more gravity than he's ever trained in before, his intent tilted from Goku back to Vegeta. He leapt forward screaming, head first, and fist prepared for battle, and about half-way to this mysterious being Vegeta dropped straight to the ground, coughing up blood and crying. Vegeta was then sent hurling backward towards Goku, silent. Goku was angered.<p>

Goku initially wanted to blame Vegeta for trying to assault him, but then he thought better, leaned over him, and said, "Thank you for trying."

"I was in that Hell for eternity... -cough-... kill that bas..."

Of course Goku wouldn't kill him if he could avoid it. Killing him would certainly be easier than detaing or disabling a creature of such power, however, and at this point, he wasn't even sure if he could kill it. And so, he got up, turned and stared at his new adversary, and put his index and middle fingers on his forehead.


	2. Chapter 2

Using instant transmission, he placed himself directly behind the enemy. Its faceless head sort of turns around, and goku would have seen its eyebrows raise, if it had any. Instantly, a sharp spike jutted out of the back of the creature's suit, aimed directly for Goku's head. Goku ducked beneath the strike, and thrust his well-prepared fist toward the creature's 'face,' feeling the premature satisfaction of a landed blow. It was then that he realized that he was alone, on Namek.

"..." Goku was in shock, not aware of the reality of the situation, what happened, or how it was achieved without him perceiving it happen. He thought to himself, of course, I can just teleport back! After thirteen failed attempts at his powerful parlor trick that has faithfully led him out of countless dangers, he could rely on this technique no longer.

Soon, he began to realize all he could do now was to think about his powerful enemy, what it meant about his own power, and where he truly stood in terms of power in the universe. After a lifetime believing he could defeat anyone, and then proving he could without a doubt, how could he let this foe come out of nowhere and play this trick on him? The only solution would lie in time, he would find. This would be a fight Goku would remember forever, a fight that would dwarf that of Frieza, of Cell, even of Buu. These are the thoughts of the legendary Super Saiyan, as he would fight his most legendary battle, never to be mentioned, as Goku thought it best a creature like this ought never to be known among mankind...

Instant transmission won't work... I can't deny that now, I've done the technique correctly each time. Something else is happening. Perhaps something on a telepathic level. I have encountered enemies with these techniques, but none powerful enough to do anything more specific than immobilize me, definitely not turn off a specific ability. I suppose this is where I learn to conquer adversaries that specialize in mental assaults! OOOOH! I have been waiting for this, I haven't had nearly as much training in this area as I have physical control of energy! This creature will teach me how to do it, and it won't even know i am learning, just like every other enemy I have fought! I must simply endure, and perservere, long enough to enjoy victory! ... Nnnngh! My arm... its... burnt? How?  
>Hmm... it must have been that creature, I'll have to be more careful. He wasn't only able to teleport me without my knowledge, but afflicted me with this... purple... burn without me knowing as well. But, he did send me all the way over here, which means he felt he needed time. He knew this burn wouldn't be enough to slow me down. He can react and analyze his enemies that quickly? I might have gotten lucky with my mental barrier. He might have expected me to be like Vegeta, willing to rush head-first into battle without first preparing and organizing a simple strategy on the fly. He over-analyzed, I normally am like that. His presence causes damage to the minds and bodies of those nearby, he can summon tentacle spikes for at least a foot of distance from his body, he is telepathic, can teleport medium bodies of mass distances on a galactic scale, and is intelligent... really intelligent and scary... and faceless. This is all from a single encounter, I wonder what he's pieced together about me, and if he is as surprised at my ability as I am about his... no, he couldn't be... I merely teleported behind him and punched. He knows at least that much from me, and he will probably expect more. I planned on finishing this quickly! What did I do? He will come after me! He sent me here to die! He will come to ea-... (sigh), i got to calm down... maybe King Kai can still talk to me, that'd be nice to hear a familiar voice.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

*King Kai! I am going to send you an image of a recently discovered enemy that I want to know more about! Are you ready?*

*Well, Goku, I can't say I'm not impressed at your marvelous ability to find incredibly powerful enemies that match your power level! I didn't even know any more existed! Let me know who you have found, they must have been training like crazy to catch up to your level, at least enough to make you ask about him. Also, why are you on Namek?"

*Please, Kai, just look at /this/ image.*

*Oh... Goku, I've never seen this man befo-*

"IT'S NOT A MAN!"

*... I see, you are right, it seems to have no defining characteristics, except black, wearing a tux, and faceless. Indeed this creature must be QUITEpowerful to have no eyes and still have such a great sense of STYLE!*

*Please, Kai, this is really not the time to joke.*

*Well, you seemed tense, I am sorry Goku, but you need time to relax. Just teleport back home and sleep.*

*I can't, this creature disabled my ability to instant transmit myself, additionally, he is the reason I am on Namek, he sent me here!*

*WHAT? I felt the transmission when you left Earth! It was your own ability, not anyone else's!*

*Can instant transmission be used to send someone else and not yourself?*

*No, Goku. Maybe I can read your mind to watch the encounter first-hand to get a better idea of our enemy here...*

*I was hoping you'd say something like that!*

* * *

><p>As King Kai's mental link with Goku grew, he became able to view Goku's past. He closes his eyes, and moves his concious to the point in time where Goku first encountered the enemy at-hand. Their minds connected, Kai opens his eyes to find himself floating above the house as Goku exits, and able to move through the time of this region as fast or slow as he wishes, even able to rewind. As vegeta points out the enemy lying in wait at the forest's edge, Kai rewinds to see the creature's actions from the time Goku exited the house.<p>

* * *

><p>*Goku, there seems to be something extraordinary about this creature! No... This can't even be possible!*<p>

*What is it King Kai?*

*The creature! Remember this moment? As vegeta approached, the creature's head tilts toward Vegeta.*

*Yes, so? it did many more amazing things than that during battle.*

*Goku, do you want to know what it was looking at before it looked at Vegeta?*

Goku's eyebrow's raised in anticipation.

*Goku, it was staring at me, through your memories, no matter where I am, or even if i rewind and move another direction! He is always staring at me, directly at me!

Goku, I must close this memory viewing, be prepared*

*Aaaah...*

*It made telepathic contact with me through your memory's, that isn't even theoretically possible! That doesn't even make sense! Nothing can do that, a memory is a memory... or maybe not...*

*You need to get a grip, it sounds like you are panicking over nothing, that IS impossible King Kai. My memories aren't there own... But it looks like we'll have to get back to this conversation later, he has come.*

"Alright, thing! So, you wanted to fight me? I suppose many people know me as the most powerful fighter in the universe, and with you being a telepath, you probably read the minds of those people and sought me out, is that right?" Yeah, that was good, even if that isn't how he found me, it should provoke him... anytime, now... "Look, do you not want to fight, then? What do you want? How do you speak?"

Is that laughing I hear? ... I have had it with this creature. I wonder if I can still instant transmit. HaaaaAAAA! ... Nope. Well, this creature needs to be provoked into action, I don't want it to come to a fight if it doesn't have to, but worse than that is nothing happening at all. I'll walk away, and fortify three mental barriers, as he'll expect to fortify from the last encounter, but if he still believes that I am a physical fighter first, and mental fighter second, he'll expect me to put up two this time. So, I will plant false intent after my first barrier, as well as after the second barrier, that ought to throw him off. The original false intent will be to attempt to sneak behind him again, the secondary false intent shall be to sneak up behind and kick him, because my shoes are resistant to heat (not really), and I will really attack him by throwing a rock, lame, I know, but then I can get a feel for how he deals with ranged attacks, and continue my attack from there. For now, I turn and wa-, wait, wasn't he just over the-... this thing is fast. I didn't even see it move. I should back away. There we go, now i am making progress! Ok, now all i have to do, is keep moving until he is out of sight. Ok, now i run, and fly! Whoa! What happened? No... I'm on Namek? What? This isn't possible!

Grr... I have definitely had enough of this, *King Kai, this thing is powerful, I may have to use KO Ken against it, if I can't teleport, i need to be able to move at least almost as fast as instant to keep up with it... King Kai? Hellooooooo? ...* No. No. No... NO... NO... This can't be happening! I am always able to talk to King Kai! What is this beast? And why me? What did I do to deserve this? Wait! This isn't Namek, I feel no life here... no, this isn't real! I must be asleep. He must be a nightmare! This, Slenderman, I can't get away! Well, fine! If the path of least resistance is through him, so be it, I will find him, and crush him. It's obvious he is villainous in nature. I am justified in ridding the cosmos of his existence. No one should be able to do what he does and not pay. I've paid my dues for lesser crimes, now it's time for this man to do his part. Of course, there he is, in the corner of my eye! Here I come!


End file.
